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Dear ______

Hey.. How have you been? From what I’ve heard you’ve been great. And I’m glad you’re happy. I on the other hand. I haven’t been my best. I know how stupid and wimpy it looks not telling you this directly. But I just can’t get the nerve to say this to your face. Or even in a text. So here I go…

It’s been a few months since we’ve last talked. And it feels more like a few days. And to be honest I kinda miss the talks we would have. They were always fun and they kept me entertained for the hours on end we spent texting each other.

Today I looked back at all our old messages. And you were so nice to me. You kept my depression away for the entire time we talked and I could tell by the texts I was happy.

And I know this is going to sound stupid, since we may have only dated for two weeks.. But as much as I hate to admit it. I loved you. And I think I still do. It’s complicated.. But maybe if you ever see this you’d understand.

Chances are you probably wont..

Thank you for the happiness. 

I am grade 12 student who has just recently graduated. You might call me accomplished, and in a way, I am, but not in the way you’d think. 12 years of pouring over text books and being lined up to be judged in front of my peers has not made me any more intelligent. I can tell you the first 45 digits of Pi and I can explain to you the difference between an acid and a base, I can recite the Pythagorean Theorem in my sleep, I will recite lines out of a textbook like they are a religion. But I cannot tell you the value of security, or of kindness. The distinct contrast between personal health and personal gain. I can tell you in grade 10 four of my classmates attempted to take their own lives before finals. I can tell you our counsellors office is always booked. I can tell you how when I didn’t understand something in AP Chemistry my teacher asked me to leave if I could not participate in his class. I merely asked him to explain a question. Instead of doing his job and teaching, he told me to leave. Told me I was not good enough to be there. Mistakes are viewed as failure in these hallways. A wrong answer is a sin you must atone to, not a human error, but a flaw so grand it defines your entire life course. There is no “average” here. We all must exceed expectations. Do your parents know that a grade that is considered average is a “C”? When I got a C in fourth grade my parents grounded me for a month. They said I was lazy and stupid and incompetent and that I’d better smarten up and stop fooling around. I never fooled around. I am driven by a deep need to impress others. I never fool around. I worked and worked and worked, with a deep hollow of anxiety in my chest. I have never been good at History, but I worked and worked and I attained at best a low B. It was not good enough. It is not said but we are expected to put our education before our personal health. It is not asked of us, but it is what we must do to achieve what we are asked to achieve. Our teachers will tell you, “Oh, I only give them one hour of homework each night.” Which is essentially true, each of my five teachers only gives me one to two hours of homework each night. Hmm, that adds up to 5-10 hours of homework, and overdue classwork, and projects. Say goodbye to sleep, say goodbye to feeling calm. I’ve developed a deep rooted anxiety disorder due to school and perfectionistic tendencies. Even when you get 100 percent on an assignment they still criticise you, it is never good enough. One slip, and you are in deep deep trouble. I can tell you that 90 percent of us try our hardest, and our teachers and parents stand in the sidelines, screaming, “You can do better than that!”

Why I say our education system is flawed (via perfect-delusions)

this is so heartbreakingly true, and that fact is disgusting.

(via foxfoxwolf)

THIS

(via curse-of-curvess)

Fuck I want to cry.

(via retr0philia)

Wow

(via suicidalpudge)

I don’t usually reblog things, but this is perfect.

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union
Forever Alone - Rage Face Comics